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Yesterday, I Touched a Breast

Last November, I took on a volunteer role in my community. This role put me in brief contact with a lady, probably around 45 years old, about once a month. We had to discuss a few things, then move our respective groups along.

Yesterday, she got into my personal space. Not that she needed to—there were hundreds of square meters for us to conduct our brief conversation in our very public venue.

Then she got closer, not face-to-face but side-to-side. Her left breast touched my right arm. Just for a second. But it’s hard for a guy not to notice this kind of thing.

She broke contact, then maneuvered around me as we continued our conversation. But still in my bubble. Then her right breast pressed against my left arm. A little firmer and probably for about five seconds.

“This is deliberate,” I thought.

I’m happily married and don’t need the hassle of an affair. So it was an easy decision for me not to pursue whatever she might have had on her mind.

But I know guys who would have engaged in pursuit. Such a guy and she might have continued to play a flirty game, sizing each other out for something more. And that something more could be nothing bigger than a validation of attractiveness—to the disappointment of the guy.

From what I can see, casual affairs cause far more problems than the pleasures they may bring. But the #MeToo movement brings an added danger.


In a recent Medium article, the writer describes an affair between a rising rock star and one of his female roadies.

When the breakup occurred, the roadie claimed that the rock star had power over her—because he was a rock star—to seduce her into the affair. Therefore he was 100% at fault; there was never any consensual sex because she was so smitten. The rock star apologized for his evil ways, probably more motivated by the possibility that his career could be over if he didn’t. In my opinion, the roadie should have known that an affair with a rock star is likely to be fleeting. But in #MeToo times, the female bears no responsibility.

If I had taken my colleague’s flirtatious nature to a little higher level, I too could have made my own #MeToo moment. It was all my fault that I was so enticing for her to stick her breasts into my arms, right?

My advice to all men: stay away from affairs—at least until you know the woman very well. I know this is bad news for men who like to hop from bed to bed, but eventually you are going to be called out—rightly or wrongly—by the #MeToo movement. Your life path could take a bumpy road!

I know the more zealous members of the #MeToo movement are going to attack me for being a misogynist, forever perpetuating the rape culture threat that men have over women. I’m really no better than the serial rapist, right?

For the more rational readers, I am a “no-means-no” guy. I don’t care if she is naked and dances on his lap. When she says, “stop,” he should stop. If he doesn’t stop, he should go to jail. In fact, I would still give such a man a stupid award for putting himself in such a position.


But enough of my rant. I have an ulterior motive for this article. I lured you in with a titillating title, provocative picture, salacious story, and pompous position on a controversial social movement.

Like many Medium contributors, I am not getting much traction on the Medium algorithms for my articles. I don’t anticipate being a popular writer because I just don’t write things that other people want to read. So I used “sex” to get you here. And here you are!

I write about an alternative system of democratic governance, called Tiered Democratic Governance (TDG). This system of governance gets rid of all political parties and election campaigns. Instead of voting for politicians with the right position or right ideology or right mandate or right charisma, voters in my TDG look for good character and capacity for governance.

I know many Medium contributors are frustrated with our current systems of governance. They will pour hours and hours into crafting clever Medium articles, hoping that they can save the world with their wordsmithing—and getting a little Medium royalty along the way. And they will read many articles of the writers they agree with. Yet few Medium people will spend three hours to read my book to see if my ideas are valid.

Over the years, I have encountered at least 1000 people on internet forums who are frustrated with government. Here’s how I have classified them:

1) The Disciples: There is a political messiah who can fix things for us.

2) The Tinkerers: We need only make slight adjustments to current electoral structures to get the right politicians.

3) The Educators: Only when more voters are educated in the “right” way will we be electing the “right” politicians.

4) The Constitutionalists: When we start following the 1789 Constitution again, all will be much better. No more great thinkers have been born after 1800.

5) The Dystopians: The world is sliding backwards and there’s nothing we can do about it. But let the dystopic writers cash in on a few more Medium articles before the collapse.

Ninety-nine percent of you probably fall in one of those five categories. I wish you luck in changing the world that way. You are going to need a lot of luck.

But if you belong to the 1% that believes there must be a better way and would be willing to invest a few hours a month building that better way, you should read my book, which is a free read.

To tie my TDG and the #MeToo movement together, I do consider the principles of the #MeToo movement as necessary to move society forward. However, finding a midpoint between institutional misogyny and radicalized feminism is mostly going to result in ineffective solutions that will continue the conflict. I believe a future system of governance based on my TDG model will find a better balance of rights and responsibilities.

BTW, the story about my two quick brushes with breasts is indeed true. I’m quite proud at how I turned this possible life-changing event into what I really wanted to talk about. Note that this event didn’t become life-changing for me because I made a good choice.

If you really want to better the world, look at how your current choices are helping. It is your choice to inspect the TDG!

Published on Medium 2020

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