I grew up around alcohol. My parents were great socializers, and bottles came out whenever company came over. We had lots of company; bottles did not stay full long. I had my first hangover when I was 15.
In my youth, I believed the world was composed of two kinds of people: those who drank lots of alcohol and those who wanted to drink lots of alcohol. I just could not imagine fun times without a little buzz between my ears. What was holding the others back was a mystery to me.
I believed in this value system so much that I tried my best to convert non-drinkers and responsible drinkers to my party-hearty way. I was either selling them the fun aspect or belittling them for not wanting to have fun.
I don’t think I was an alcoholic. But I was a binge drinker. Probably once a month, I would have a hangover that took much of the next day away from me. Several times a year, my head would be hovering over a toilet bowl. And I wore those hangovers like badges of honor. Friday and Saturday nights were so important.
When I was 22, I was sitting in a bar with some buddies — because sitting in bars is what fun people do. Band too loud, cigarette smoke hovering, good looking girls abound but not likely to go home with klutzes like us. A voice popped into my head: “This really is not that much fun.”
I finished the night with my buddies. But after that night, I cut my alcohol consumption by about 75%. I became, as they say, a responsible social drinker. The alcohol index of the stock markets probably took a little dive. But I should say I still got a little out of control every once in a while. There were far fewer hangovers — and fewer donations to pub owners and the alcohol industry.
Twelve years later, I quit drinking altogether.
Shortly after I quit, a young man was killed outside a bar near my apartment in Calgary. Two drunk men got into a fight in the bar. The bouncers threw them out. The bar emptied out to watch the fight continue outside the bar. The young man became part the human ring that formed around the two belligerents. The wrestling/punching match bumped into the young man. The young man crashed into a light pole, hit his head, and died. I was never a fighter, but I like watching the fights and other events that alcohol seems to create. That young man could have been me.
Let’s just admit it: alcohol puts its consumers into more risky life situations than they need to be in.
The reason for my binge drinking was threefold. First, it was a big part of the culture that I was raised in. Not much socializing got done without alcohol; I was just following my role models. Second, I was in a dysfunctional family. Alcohol became my medicine to deal with the hurting I had inside. Third, I was an introvert but living in a world that valued extroverts. Alcohol helped me become a somebody.
As alluded earlier, I was an advocate for alcohol. I now see my strong desire to convert others to my party lifestyle as a sign that I really was, inside, not comfortable with that lifestyle. I craved those conversions to help me validate my choice. The more half-drunk people I had around me, the better. There should be a psychological term for this convert-others-to-feel-good motivation; I have not run across it yet.
I am now 28 years sober. No desire to go back. I see so much time, money, opportunity, and better judgement had been squandered on alcohol. I can’t recommend this lifestyle to anyone.
But we all know successful people who have built businesses and careers while being half drunk. This fact kind of brings up the point that we should not argue with success — and just leave the private lives of other people alone. I often wonder what these people could have really accomplished had they conquered their addiction first. Very few tombstones ever say, “Most of my success was because of alcohol.”
Now it is time bring up my real reason for being on Medium. I am promoting an alternative democracy called Tiered Democratic Governance (TDG). To explain this briefly, TDG electoral units are about 200 residents. Elections are annual, and neighbors will be voting for one of their neighbors.
“How does alcohol factor into the TDG?” you ask.
In our current democracies, people with alcohol problems can hide behind a marketing machine to mask their addiction. In the internal party elections, most members of the party would not know if the aspiring candidates are alcoholics, binge drinkers, social drinkers, or abstainers. The members vote without seeing the candidates in real life situations. So the internal party elections are no filters to stop the parties from sending alcoholics and binge drinkers to battle for the general elections. In these elections, voters know even less about the candidates. Alcoholics and binge drinkers have won these elections as well, later casting their votes in legislatures, with alcohol influencing their judgement.
The TDG is a different dynamic. If I am a TDG voter and I see a neighbor in a drunken state, I will not vote for that neighbor. I will vote for another neighbor. Other neighbors will likely see the same thing, and their votes will go to someone else. This does not mean we are against people consuming alcohol; we just don’t want to see people with alcohol problems in governance. The TDG elections will accomplish this goal.
With so many people in our culture using alcohol, we should expect social drinkers to become elected as neighborhood representatives. Maybe that’s not so bad.
But some citizens, like my younger self who saw alcohol as virtue, could actually cast a vote toward a “better drinker.” So a few alcoholic/binge-drinking representatives are also likely to be elected. A few should not be a problem. If these representatives do not show up for TDG meetings or show up with alcohol on their breath, they likely won’t get many votes for the next TDG tier.
Please note that the TDG is not passing any judgment on this person. It just lets the elections work their magic to find people of good character and capacity for governance. An individual dealing with alcohol issues still has free choice in this lifestyle. If the dependence is too great, he or she just won’t rise high in governance.
That is a good thing, right?
Published on Medium 2022
