TDG Banner

Promiscuity & the MeToo Movement

From the sociological reports I’ve encountered over the years, it seems that about 10% of citizens in western societies are sexually promiscuous. They have sex with more than one partner within a time period of around one year. This means, and contrary to popular culture, 90% of us are monogamous or celibate. 

The MeToo movement brings a challenge the promiscuous. In order for a casual sexual tryst to happen, both parties need to play the part of a fisherman: appropriate fishing location, appropriate lure, appropriate hook, and skillful play of the fishing line are all needed to land in the objective: get laid! If the fisherman’s game is not played properly, the tryst falls apart. But as this game is being played, one or both parties have to transcend the boundaries of what many people would consider unwanted sexual advances. So this fishing-for-sex game puts the players in a dangerous position as they are figuring out how negotiate with someone for a sexual encounter. The promiscuous can now face consequences: after a certain threshold has been crossed, the prospect can turn a fishing trip into a police charge. 

Another angle to this social promiscuity is that some players are fairly direct in their approach. They are either misreading the signals that allow them to take their potential conquest to the next level of negotiation or are just playing a numbers game, knowing that their direct advances sometimes work. For example, a hand on the knee under the table will quickly establish if a potential partner is ready for more action. If the hand is removed, the offending partner knows the game is off—and can move to another prospect. But today, that hand can land the player in a lot of trouble. 

While the sociological reports I encountered seem to indicate that poverty and youth enhances promiscuity, all demographic groups have members who are promiscuous. It’s safe to say that that 10% of avid supporters of the MeToo movement are also promiscuous—and are playing a game that is somewhat counter to their message. After all, many misogynists are successful players. 

So how do promiscuous players play their game in the age of MeToo? 

Published in 2017

The TDG Essay

Building a Wiser Kinder Democracy